Holy long off-the-rails post, Batman! This has gotten way out of hand, and I probably read into things too much, but YOLO! I can have fun speculating about my favourite TV show and being wrong most of the time, right? At least I managed to leave out all the shipping!
Of course, beware of Big Bad Spoilers - not only for 8x01 but quite possibly for the upcoming episodes as well. I'm not even sure anymore.
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